Today's post is a little less of an about us and more of a how we're feeling.
We struggled through infertility for a couple years. Test after test, blood draw after blood draw. The entire process was emotionally taxing on both of us. However, it made our bond stronger than ever. We leaned on each other in times of sorrow, we celebrated each other in the good times, we prayed together but most of all we loved one another unconditionally. During our 2 years of fertility treatments and testing, we learned a lot more about our family and friends as well. Our family, quite frankly they were and still are amazing. They are the biggest support system we have besides each other. Whenever we had to run away for treatments or procedures, they graciously stepped in to make sure the cattle were being fed, Mr. Max had someone to give him snuggles and treats, or even unloading seed. They were just present and willing to help out with whatever they could. We can say the same about our friends. So many of them reached out sometimes just to see if we needed anything, even just a chat.
For us, it was an easy decision on choosing adoption. We felt that God was leading us down this path for a reason and we embraced it with arms wide open. We were however nervous to tell our family and friends. We were afraid they would look at us like we had failed. Instead, they gave us the biggest hugs and said how can we help! They continue to offer prayers and ask what they can do to help us.
We've been in the adoption process for 21 months now and to say those 21 months have been easy on us, is incorrect. Every 3 months we get an update from our agency, on how many profile visits and times our profile has been presented. On every report those numbers continue to increase, however we just haven't been chosen yet. It pulls on us emotionally. We're always asking, what is wrong and why haven't we been chosen yet? We know those aren't fair questions to be asked but sometimes that's just how we feel when another presentation doesn't go in our favor. We keep praying and hoping that our time will come and we know it will. This process just tests our patience time and time again. We know how badly we want to become parents, we know we have nothing but an abundance of love to give. We're just continuing to hope and pray.